Who is really on your side?

Life is change and I am changing.
My heart is heavy. It feels like a million lbs. inside my chest. I don't know where I am, as I've lost myself in this mental challenge. A mental challange that is a matter of the heart and soul.
I've caught myself losing my train of thought, absent-mindedly performing duties. I’m in a mental cloud.
I have so much love in my heart & the best of intentions in everything I do.
The saying, "You could f* up a trainwreck," comes to mind. Even w/ my best of intentions
I don't roll w/ life's punches as effectively as I must learn to do. I crumble in the challenge- I am overwhelmed. My mind and heart goes, "Not another change!"
I Just hope that one day I will be stronger for it.

- here is a song for me:

"Did it make you stop and think
You're on the brink
And not to test you 'cause you
Don't know how far you'd go
Did you make a big mistake
You curse your fate
And you wish you could leave this life
For just one day

Welcome to the goodtimes honey
Did you bring your own parade?
Welcome to the big time baby
Time for a serenade

Did you say you lost your pride?
You tried to hide
But you're not strong enough
To ever get away

And it only goes to show
What we all know
That the tables will surely turn
For you one day

It should come as no surprise
Just realize, that when it all comes down
Who is really on your side"