Saturday, December 17, 2005

pain of the soul

Some say that with the greatest joys come the greatest pain.

Enduring the pain of lost friendship has been worse than any death I have ever experienced. The way my entire life has had to change.
I dont even know how to put into words how i feel - but i am trying.
physical pain (childbirth/ broken bones) can over take your body and but It's strange to me how mental pain - or pain of the soul can as well cripple the ability to function. Yet you can still go about the day doing what must be done only to have to balance it all.
I wish I could take something to ease this agony.

hate is an aweful thing-- i'm not sure ive ever really hated anyone... but being the recipient of hate is the worst feeling in the world.

"All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless." Ecclesiastes 2:23

I pray that God would take the memories away – though I really do not wish for that – it would make life much more bearable.
When things change so dramatically from high to low. It hurts.
the feeling of emptiness even with a room full of people.
the separtation and distance now felt
The aching in my head caused from tears
I honestly don't know if I could handle this humanly but I cling to the thought that these relationships will be restored in heaven – by the grace and power of God.
but still
Saying farwell here on earth is rough.

all of this has made me realize how hard it will be to permanantly loose people
I know who have not accepted Christ as their savoir.

John 14:
27Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives.
Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
28"You heard me say, 'I am going away and I am coming back to you.'

I want to be a Good Friend
Proverbs 12:26
A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

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