I feel like a bomb just blewup in my face - one that's been in my life for a while but i didn't know it. I hate myself ...cause I feel that i have trusted people I should have never trusted. I think that decisions I have made have somehow destroyed trust and authenticity of my relationships.
I hate that my husband is not happy. It's all a spiritual battle and I pray it will be over soon. I hate the feeling that things will not be like they used to that I will some how loose a friend or loose other things that are important to me.
I dont think that i cant win.
I hope that things can go back to the time it was simple. friendship was easy, fun and real.