Wednesday, December 28, 2005

The Searcy Girls


Me & my sisters Posted by Picasa

The Boys


Daniel, Andrew and Aaron
My Brothers Posted by Picasa

My mom and Dad

 Posted by Picasa

my family

My family- Mom, Dad, Amy, Aaron and Daniel came in late Christmas night.
It’s been really great to have them around. The kids really enjoy having lots of people around the house. Aaron has been enjoying playing Ping pong with Don and the guys. They have been helping me get things cleaned up around the house and over all spruce up. My parents are very enthusiastic and ambitious. So it’s been encouraging to have them here, it’s going to be a downer when they have to go home.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Christmas Kids


Merry Christmas Everyone! Posted by Picasa

My Christmas Angel

 Posted by Picasa

Saturday, December 24, 2005

christmas blues

I have an escapists mentality…all my life I have tried to escape my reality.
Why do I do this, I have no idea. But, in all my attempts to re-create my life, reform who I am , who I am in other’s eyes…I have failed. After some time, I always return to who I am. I cannot seem to successfully make my self new. I guess this is who I was created to be. I just wish I could either truly better myself or be completely happy with who I am.
At times I am, but then I come across reasons and things in life that create the desire to run away, again.. Ahh, to take another chance at fresh start. Maybe I don’t like to face harshness of truth, maybe I just like to take the easy road out when the opportunity arrives, cause it’s not always there.

“staring right back in the face - a memory can’t be erased - I know because I tried - start to feel the emptiness and everything I’m gonna miss - I know that I can’t hide - all this time is passing by - I think it's time to just move on - when you come back down - if you land on your feet - I hope you find a way to make it back to me - when you come around - I’ll be there for you - don’t have to be alone with what you’re going through - start to breathe and fake a smile - it's all the same after a while - I know that you are tired - carrying the ones you lost - a picture frame with all the thoughts - I know you hold inside - I hope that you can find your way back to the place where you belong - - you don't have to tell me what you're feeling - I know what you're going through and I won't be the one that lets go of you - I think it's time to just move on “-

“I can see it your eyes you're hurting - but pain is part of learning who you are - all these truths can sometimes be deceiving “–

“hey remember me - I remember you walking away
from all that you made - that you lost - or threw away - trade it in for a brand new life - but I can't - can't let go - can't turn around”


Friday, December 23, 2005


today is a good day.
my kids are at grandma's. so i can get some cleaning done and get ready for Christmas. My family is coming in from Oklahoma on Christmas day! They will be here for just a few days but I am very excited to get to see them soon.
and I got my grades - I did alright -3.3750 for the semester.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

no more bonsai trees

 Posted by Picasa

no more bonsai trees


yesterday the kids and i finally took down the ugly old bonsai tree wallpaper in my dining room -- i think i'm going to paint it yellow! Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

His plan for your life…

"Everyone longs to give oneself completely to some, to have a deep-soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and completely. But God to a Christian says, “No, not until you are satisfied and content and fulfilled with being loved by me alone… I love you, My child. Until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will not be united with another until you are untied with Me. Exclusive of anyone else, exclusive of all other desires or wants.

I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing-one that you can’t imagine. I want you to have the best! Please allow Me to Bring you this; just keep watching Me, Expecting the greatest things. Keep learning and hearing the things that I tell you… You must wait.
“Don’t be anxious. Don’t worry! Don’t look around at things others have gotten or that I have given them. You just keep looking off and away up to Me, or you will miss what I want to show you.

And then, when you are ready, I will surprise you with a love far more wonderful that you have ever dreamed for. You see, until you are ready, and the one I have for you is ready-I am working at this moment to have both of you ready at the same time—until both of you are satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I’ve prepared for you, you won’t be able to experience the love that exemplified your relationship with me…and this is the perfect love. And, dear one, I want you to have the most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty and perfection and love that I offer you with Myself. Know that I love you utterly! I AM GOD ALMIGHTY. BELIEVE AND BE SATISFIED.” -Authentic Beauty

Monday, December 19, 2005

november 26-27th pictures

 Posted by Picasa
 Posted by Picasa


 Posted by Picasa

we love snow!


1st snow fall Dec 2005 Posted by Picasa

The 12 Days of Christmas- preschooler style

Children are our most valuable natural resource.-Herbert Hoover

The 12 Days of Christmas
By Peggy Ployhar
As a mother of a preschooler, Christmas brings its own joys and struggles when little ones with wide eyes, wondering minds and quick reflexes try to take in all of the wonders of the season. Today our gift to you is a light-hearted look at the giving spirit of the littlest members of our families. Enjoy!

The 12 Days of Christmas, Preschooler Style:

On the first day of Christmas my preschooler gave to me, an ornament off our tree.

On the second day of Christmas my preschooler gave to me, 2 fists of frosting.

On the third day of Christmas my preschooler gave to me, 3 broken wise men.

On the fourth day of Christmas my preschooler gave to me, 4 unwrapped presents.

On the fifth day of Christmas my preschooler gave to me, 5 temper tantrums.

On the sixth day of Christmas my preschooler gave to me, 6 smashed-up cookies.

On the seventh day of Christmas my preschooler gave to me, 7 sticky candies.

On the eighth day of Christmas my preschooler gave to me, 8 flying reindeer.

On the ninth day of Christmas my preschooler gave to me, 9 muddy footprints.

On the tenth day of Christmas my preschooler gave to me, 10 chocolate fingers.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my preschooler gave to me, 11 snotty tissues.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my preschooler gave to me, 12 sloppy kisses.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you and your family!

Sunday, December 18, 2005

gingerbread catastrophe

 Posted by Picasa

ready for the snow

 Posted by Picasa

jadyn say hi everyone!

 Posted by Picasa

Christmas fun with the kids

Today, the kids and I attempted to make and assemble a ginger bread nativity scene. While we did have a lot of fun making a huge mess, getting sticky icing and food coloring everywhere…including coloring jadyn’s hair blue and green; It was to no avail. The roof would lot stay on the stable and the walls caved in… the characters ended in nothing more than brightly colored blobs of frosting. Now all three of us have sugar highs from eating too much frosting! NOW, to clean the kids and kitchen.
If I’m ever able to post pictures again- I’ll post some of the catastrophe.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

ok- i'll admit it - i'm obsessed with lyrics

Lion’s Mane


run like a race for family
when you hear like you're alone
the rusty gears of morning
and faceless, busy phones
we gladly run in circles
but the shape we meant to make is gone

and love is a tired symphony
you hum when you're awake
and love is a crying baby
mama warned you not to shake
and love's the best sensation
hiding in the lion's mane

so i'll clear the road, the gravel
and the thornbush in your path
that burns a scented oil
that i'll drip into your bath
the water's there to warm you
and the earth is warmer when you laugh

and love is the scene i render
when you catch me wide awake
and love is the dream you enter
though i shake and shake and shake you
and love's the best endeavor
waiting in the lion's mane

(relevant thoughts from november)
“I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you”

pain of the soul

Some say that with the greatest joys come the greatest pain.

Enduring the pain of lost friendship has been worse than any death I have ever experienced. The way my entire life has had to change.
I dont even know how to put into words how i feel - but i am trying.
physical pain (childbirth/ broken bones) can over take your body and but It's strange to me how mental pain - or pain of the soul can as well cripple the ability to function. Yet you can still go about the day doing what must be done only to have to balance it all.
I wish I could take something to ease this agony.

hate is an aweful thing-- i'm not sure ive ever really hated anyone... but being the recipient of hate is the worst feeling in the world.

"All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless." Ecclesiastes 2:23

I pray that God would take the memories away – though I really do not wish for that – it would make life much more bearable.
When things change so dramatically from high to low. It hurts.
the feeling of emptiness even with a room full of people.
the separtation and distance now felt
The aching in my head caused from tears
I honestly don't know if I could handle this humanly but I cling to the thought that these relationships will be restored in heaven – by the grace and power of God.
but still
Saying farwell here on earth is rough.

all of this has made me realize how hard it will be to permanantly loose people
I know who have not accepted Christ as their savoir.

John 14:
27Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives.
Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
28"You heard me say, 'I am going away and I am coming back to you.'

I want to be a Good Friend
Proverbs 12:26
A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

A living prayer

”In this world, i walk alone with no place to call my home,
but there’s One who holds my hand, the rugged road through barren lands

the way is dark, the road is steep but He’s become my eyes to see,
the strength to climb, my griefs to bear, this Savior lives inside me there

In your love i find release, a haven from my unbelief
take my life and let me be a living prayer, my God to thee

in these trials of life i find another voice inside my mind,
He comforts me and bids me live, inside the love the Father gives

in your love i find release, a haven from my unbelief
take my life and let me be a living prayer, my God to thee”
Allison Krause

from: Lonely Runs Both Ways

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (NIV)

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. (NKJV)

For I know the plans I have for you" —[this is] the LORD's declaration—"plans for [your] welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. (HCSB)

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

"My Grown Up Christmas List"

I know these are cheesy lyrics
But this year they seem to ring true for me

heaven only knows
That packages and bows
Can never heal
A hurting human soul

What is this illusion called the innocence of youth
Maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth
(there'd be)

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end, oh
This is my grown up christmas list

"Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice" (Philippians 4:4).

Here is a verse that is often glibly quoted, yet seldom fully applied. It rolls off the tongue easily during sunny days of ease, but is a tremendous challenge to live out during times of heartache, disappointment, and trial. But one of the keys to having our joy stand distinct from the world's mirth is found in the small word: alway.
The Scripture commands us always to rejoice. But what about when our dearest friends forsake us? Paul had experienced that. "For Demas hath forsaken me, having loved this present world" (II Timothy 4:10). And yet he still rejoiced in the Lord. But what about when we face a major disappointment in our endeavors? Paul had endured such failure and times of deprivation (Phillipians 4:11) yet he commanded, "Rejoice in the Lord!"

I Thessalonians 4:13 instructs, "But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope." David wrote, "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning" (Psalm 30:5).
Rejoice in the Lord always! DW

"But God . . ."

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Andrew Jackson quotes

Andrew Jackson said that life itself was less precious than honor. – The slanderer is far worse than the murderer because the murderer took only life whereas the slanderer took honor.

"Any man worth his salt will stick up for what he believes right, but it takes a slightly better man to acknowledge instantly and without reservation that he is in error.” Andrew Jackson

"Every good citizen makes his country's honor his own, and cherishes it not only as precious but as sacred. He is willing to risk his life in its defence and is conscious that he gains protection while he gives it."

"Take time to deliberate; but when the time for action arrives, stop thinking and go in."

“The brave man inattentive to his duty, is worth little more to his country than the coward who deserts in the hour of danger." - Andrew Jackson

Thursday, December 08, 2005

dark and light

Isaiah 45:7
I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster; I, the LORD, do all these things.
Jeremiah 13:16
Give glory to the LORD your God before he brings the darkness, before your feet stumble on the darkening hills. You hope for light, but he will turn it to thick darkness and change it to deep gloom.
Lamentations 3:2
He has driven me away and made me walk in darkness rather than light;
Ephesians 5:8
For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light
Luke 11:34
Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eyes are good, your whole body also is full of light. But when they are bad, your body also is full of darkness.
Luke 11:35
See to it, then, that the light within you is not darkness.
John 12:46
I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness.
Romans 13:12
The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Lay It Down

I know that You know that my heart is aching
I’m running out of tears and my will is breaking
I don’t think that I can carry
The burden of it anymore

All of my hopes and my dreams and my best laid plans
Are slowly slipping through my folded hands

So I’m gonna lay it down
I’m gonna learn to trust You now
What else can I do
Everything I am depends on You
And if the sun don’t come back up
I know Your love will be enough
I’m gonna let it be, I’m gonna let it go
I’m gonna lay it down

I’ve been walking through this world like I’m barely living
Buried in the doubt of this hole I’ve been digging
But You’re pulling me out and I’m finally breathing
In the open air

This room may be dark but I’m finally seeing
There’s a new ray of hope and now I’m believing
That the past is the past and the future’s beginning to look brighter now

‘Cause all of my hopes and my dreams and my best laid plans
Are safe and secure when I place them in Your hands

missing classes

today I took the kids to school – it is closed AGAIN!
(so I have to miss school one more day)
yesterday they were on a one hour delay – but today one of the teachers said someone in admin. Died in a car wreck-so they closed all day. Well>>>
I know it’s insensitive – but people die- life goes on
– people have things to do –like work! If I had a job to go to
– I think I’d be fired by now.
I had to take the kids with me to visit LC’s Art gallery with a class.
they did alright... well one more week of fall semester classes and it's over!

Monday, December 05, 2005

a stranger now

Ryan Adams lyrics

For all the hours here that move too slow
There's all this letting go, that won't pass

If I am a stranger now to you
I will always be, I will always be
Stronger now than me, stronger than you
Love will always be
If you let it go, I'll try to be there for you
If I can, what if I can?
For all the hours here that move too slow
There's all this letting go, that don't pass

If the walls in the room could talk
I wonder to myself would they laugh
It's like some kind of jail
Beams of light
Fall from the curtains onto the bed
I'm all alone now, I can do as I please
I don't feel like doing much of anything

Washed up on a shore of memories
I'm all alone now and I feel just fine
I don't feel much like doing anything

True love ain't that hard to find
Not that either one of us will ever know
Would you lay here for awhile?
Please, do not let me go

today's contentment

It has been an unusually stressful week.
So many things going on and happening.
But to my own surprise Ive been dealing with it (with God's help)
-without raising my voice (i really dont expect this to last)
or expressing my frustrations. (frustration with kids, family, friends, life)
I’ve realized that I had definitely experienced a breakthrough!
Sometime over these past few years I've turned a corner with my personal expectations and learned to live comfortably with a reality that never seems to quite meet my dreams. My house isn't perfectly picked up or decorated. My kids aren't that well behaved. People are not always meet expectations…. They can be crappy and very frustrating- myself included. There are a lot of imperfections in life.

But today I am thankful to have a home, messy or otherwise. I am happy to have children, even when they argue and provide me with the greatest daily challenges I've ever faced. I'm thankful that the reality of my life hasn't matched my dreams, because I greatly suspect that it's the daily disappointments that have allowed me to experience today's contentment.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

to the singles:

My views on love... I think that love is more than actions, sweet gestures, words, feelings or anything else things that look like love.
Love, true love, is a commitment.
It’s the continual putting up with one another and always looking for the best in them even when they are annoying you or seem to hate little things about you.
It’s realizing that no one is ever going to be perfect,
and not allowing that bother you.
It’s about loving a person for their imperfections as much as their good qualities.

the truth about married life: it is hard
– it’s like giving up yourself and being another person too.
but after awhile you learn to like who you've become.
there is some reward to it all as well.

“i think that it is about choosing to keep the promise that you made when you got married and always trying to look for the things that made you fall in love with him. i guess the best way to define it is that your whole outlook on life gets reorganized. before- i did whatever the heck i wanted to and made out with whoever and so on. but now- (he)is a part of my life - and not in some ball and chain sort of way- but he is someone that i love. so that means that his feelings are important to me-

it isn't easy though and sometimes it would just be so easy (if it were not for the kids) to say f your feelings, wants, desire and leave.
marriage makes you a different person,though- not complelty - but you have to grow up.
but despite it being hard
i really do like it-
if it doesnt take work - it's not worth it.

Love or Lust
Love or Lust (#20051203)
by John Morris, Ph.D.
"My son, attend unto my wisdom, and bow thine ear to my understanding: That thou mayest regard discretion, and that thy lips may keep knowledge" (Proverbs 5:1-2).

The entire fifth chapter of Proverbs concerns the use or misuse of the highest function of our physical bodies. Under the sovereign control of Almighty God, a man and woman have been granted the ability, through their union, to make an eternal human being with the ability to accept or reject God, eternal life, and forgiveness. The contrast in this chapter is between the usage of this God-given function in lust or love, adultery or fidelity.

Verses 3 through 6 provide insight into the character of promiscuity which includes deception (v.3) and sorrow (v.4). Psychologists have long recognized that many prostitutes ply their trade out of a hatred for men, purposefully and conscientiously destroying their companions (v.5). The solution, of course, is to stay away. Don't play with fire! Avoid any opportunities to be enticed (v.8). The results, of course, of yielding to temptation would be that we would lose our youthful vigor (v.9), our wealth (v.10), our health (v.11), our self-esteem (vv.12-13), and even our lives are in danger (v.14).

On the other hand, married love is a beautiful thing (vv.15-20), providing health, companionship, joy, and satisfaction. "Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth" (v.18).

Remember, none of this is done in secret. "The ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and He pondereth all his goings" (v.21). We should stay away from any involvement in sin, for sin entraps us (v.22), and we keep going back. Men die for lack of instruction, or lack of obedience to the instruction they have (v.23). This leads to great folly, and, in the end, total shame and destruction. JDM

Saturday, December 03, 2005

“Sometimes I wonder If men and women really suite each other.
Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.”
– Katherine Hepburn

I really liked Guys & Dolls.
it was very entertaining/silly/fun.
Lots of singing and dancing – 1st real play I’d been to in 5 years.
For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.
John 3:20-21

If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:9

Thursday, December 01, 2005

My Irish grandma went to be with her Lord and Saviour this afternoon in
Tulsa, OK. She is to be buried tomorrow beside my grandpa in the Oddfellows
Cemetery in Antlers, OK. A memorial service will be sometime later.
She was born August 26, 1926 in Prairie Twp., the first daughter of
Milton Montgomery Robinson and Sarah Ann McRoberts.
She was born August 26, 1926 in Prairie Twp., the first daughter of
Milton Montgomery Robinson and Sarah Ann McRoberts. As her parents were
Robinson cousins my grandma was her own 4th cousin! She is survived by her
second husband, a brother, 2 sisters, 2 sons and their wives, 9 grandchildren
and 6 great-grandchildren. We will miss her but we comforted by knowing
that she has gone to heaven and that someday we will be reunited with her.
She is no longer suffering.


Today my Grandmother, (Daddy’s mom) Margaret Robinson Searcy Wipf passed away after a 5+ year battle with Alzheimer’s disease. It is a bitter sweet day. My father and Elbert Wipf have been grieving for years, so this is not an entirely bad day for them. All I can really say is, thank you God for taking her home. Friday, the family will take her body down to Antlers, Oklahoma to bury her with my grandfather.

this is not the only death I have endured today. But now i must move on with life.


This guy is really full of crap- but I like these quotes:

"If you want to know your true opinion of someone, watch the effect produced in you by the first sight of a letter from him."

“Life swings like a pendulum backward and forward between pain and boredom"

“The more unintelligent a man is, the less mysterious existence seems to him"

"The pleasure in this world, it has been said, outweighs the pain; or, at any rate, there is an even balance between the two. If the reader wishes to see shortly whether this statement is true, let him compare the respective feelings of two animals, one of which is engaged in eating the other."
- Arthur Schopenhauer

"When I am afraid, I will trust in You," he wrote (Psalm 56:3).

"You number my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle" (v.8).

(listening to: Lonely runs both ways album – Allison Krause)
Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.